How to Get Scared by a Binder

I’m overwhelmed by how much space that’s been taken up by papers. Paper is so thin, if we had only seen what paper looked like we never would have guessed how easily they stack on top of each other. I can see the papers overflowing my binder like hot pasta with water boiling over the pot. They remind me of the monstrous book of monsters from harry potter.

From Halloween grams to college career pamphlets, nothing has been thrown out. Most of the papers have never been touched for months, not even looked at. Yet I still hold on to them. And so begins the battle of stuffing papers into a space that doesn’t exist. Oh what agony, to be looking for something that wasn’t even there. Or flipping through all compartments of a two inch binder until you finally find what you’ve been looking for, only to find that it was in an obvious spot you’ve overlooked twenty times. The papers have consumed me. My chest carries the burden of being pressed by weights. Breaths feel heavier like a smoker wheezing for the last full breath of sweetness called life. It would be a
daring move to open my binder out of leisure.

Finally the day comes where you can’t escape the pain of cleaning your binder. The time has come to sort, file, and throw papers out. And it’s dreadful. But once it’s been finished, a new feeling arises. It feels fresh and the weights have been lifted. Breathing is easier now. And all is well. Skip ahead a few more months , and you’re back to square one, it’s like you’ve never escaped from the place you started from. There’s no proof of progress because nothing has changed. What a shame.

New beginnings, second chances, they are like drugs that inspire you to do great things. When you write a new year’s resolution, you feel obligated to accomplish every goal and it feels like nothing is impossible. You get another chance of becoming the better version of yourself you haven’t reached. Second,third, fourth and chances don’t change anything if you don’t force change. Christians baptize themselves to become reborn, to cleanse themselves of their past to make a better change. It usually only happens once. It would be useless to baptize someone who is constantly sinning with the intention of sinning. Don’t wait until your binder is filled up, clean it every week.

Don’t Be a Weenie

My 9th grade English teacher once told me about how she turned down the chance of meeting Ray Bradbury. Well, she wasn’t technically going to meet him, but the job was to show Bradbury around her school or something like that. She told us that she turned down the offer because she was shy. I couldn’t believe it! She turned down Ray Bradbury, I mean, opportunities like this don’t come so often and to put something down because of fear, is kind of sad. She ended the story by telling us how rueful she was and I felt the same aching pain so I started thinking, why do we let fear stump us? In fact, why do we allow our emotions to dictate our actions? Some feelings are temporary, and if everyone acted based on how they felt, this world would be more chaotic. I hope to never come across a situation where I let my fear get in the way of something I want. It’s so easy to tell yourself to ignore fear’s presence ,but then you start wandering off and thinking about all the worst things that could happen. You start making excuses and by the time you’ve made your decision, it’s already too late. And now you’re realizing that fighting over something you know you wanted to do, was just a waste of time. It’s not a bad thing that you’re missing out on something, but the fact that you convinced yourself that you were defeated, is what makes the difference. We should be able to explore things free from judgement or fear. Kick down the door to your comfort zone, and venture what you please because I’ve never heard anyone envy about people who live life “safely”. By “safely” I mean getting rid of the things that aren’t in your daily routine and only sticking to the things that you have become used to. Adventurous people are more fun because they’re willing to do what most people are afraid to do. Now I’m not saying you should go jumping off cliffs, but a little fear in our lives keeps it exciting.

The Good, the Bad, and the Weird Points of Rain

I hate getting wet when I’m not showering or getting bombarded by water balloons in the summer. A couple days ago I had to walk home in the rain and  I ended up soaking wet because I didn’t have an umbrella. In addition to getting soaked, I got sprayed by murky water when cars went past me,  my mom’s efforts to driving slowly on the road made me assume that people don’t drive faster when it’s pouring, I was wrong. There are lots of things to complain about when it rains, like getting wet, driving slower than usual, having your hair frizz up, and having to dance around the snails and worms that pop out of nowhere. The worst thing about worms, is that they wiggle, and they wiggle FAST, once you step out your door you have to mentally calibrate where the worm is going, and how fast it’s moving. Snails on the other hand, stay at about the same slow pace, but there are lots of snails everywhere so you have a higher chance of stepping on one in addition to the manic worms, just thinking about crushing a snail brings cringe-worthy chills up my spine, gross!The one thing I’m most annoyed about rain ,is taking my dog out. Like most dog owners, I don’t own a dog-raincoat so it’s difficult for your pup to be comfortable doing their business when they’re being splattered by cold water. I came up with a temporary solution when I was in the 7th grade, I somehow fashioned a plastic bag as a cover up for my dog. Sure, I could have used a t-shirt, but that wouldn’t have been as fun as creating something out of trash, plus t-shirts aren’t waterproof. Besides taking my dog outside and trying to avoid the creepy crawlers, I really enjoy when it rains.What I like when it rains is the atmosphere it brings, the sky is gloomy, the temperature drops, and we all struggle like madmen reaching for the driest place we can find. Staying indoors when it’s raining is fulfilling because it’s comforting to know we’re warm and fuzzy in comparison to the cold outside. I already like staying indoors, but raining is an added bonus which also gives you another reason to stay inside. I know you’re not supposed to open the windows when it’s raining, but the smell of wet greenery is manipulating. Musky is the most appropriate word when it comes to describing how the rain smells. The rain is exciting because you hear things you’re familiar with, but love to hear. It’s like the first time you hear something new, it’s interesting, you’re not quite sure what it is, but you want to hear more. The sound of rain varies by the amount of rain that’s produced, when it’s raining lightly ,it sounds like a pen that continually taps on a soft book. When there’s a lot of rain and cars drive by, it sounds like a clean fast rip of a paper, this can also sound like you’re whistling the word “shoe” about a billion times. But these aren’t the only factors that differentiate the sound of rain hitting something. Another great thing you get to do when it rains, is taking your umbrella out! For the time that it rains, you get to experience what it’s like to be your own roof. I feel so much power when I use an umbrella because I get to choose where I shield myself. Most of all, it’s fun experiencing something that doesn’t happen often. It’s like what George Zinavoy of The Art of Getting By ,said when he told Sally Howe his rules of ditching school, rule number one being that cutting school is fun, followed by rule number two which is to cut rarely to preserve the specialness. Likewise, Voltaire said about the same thing,

  “The secret of being a bore is to tell everything”

Once you get used to common things, you know so much about it,so you get bored of it. Humans have a natural desire for change, so once we keep doing things repeatedly, we get tired of it. Voltaire is saying that people who are mysterious are more interesting than people who talk about everything, because when there’s something we don’t know about someone, we itch at the chance to find what it is. The lesson here is that you should keep some things a mystery because once you know everything, or have become accustom to it, it’s no longer as fun as it used to be.I love the rain and at the end of the day, I’m glad it doesn’t rain often so I can savor the moment and not grudgingly say “ugh, it’s raining again.“